Так было, так есть и так будет всегда

Как часто мы слышим: 

«Я уже 5,6,7,10… лет живу по этой схеме, ничего не изменится». 

«Мне страшно что-то менять. Я не знаю… а вдруг будет хуже?»

Мы настолько привыкаем к ежедневной рутине, настолько срастаемся с нашей ракушкой, что изменения, даже позитивные, кажутся чем-то опасным.

Новая работа? Ну нет, ее же надо искать, а сейчас, говорят, без связей не пробьешься, на собеседования отпрашиваться надо, потом нервничать, прошел ли испытательный срок, а вдруг не справлюсь…не так уж и плоха моя текущая работа.

Так кашель надоел, сил нет…бросить курить? Да я пробовала уже сто раз, не получается, слабый я человек, силы воли нет. И потом, если брошу курить, потолстею, кому нужна буду?

Знакомые рассуждения? Вместо того, чтобы действовать, нам часто легче убедить себя, что ничего не изменится, или что изменения приведут к ухудшению ситуации. А ведь это совсем не так. 

Когда ко мне приходит клиент с подобными размышлениями, я задаю ему вопрос:

— Нравится ли вам, что происходит сейчас в вашей жизни?

Часто в ответ слышу «Я несчастлив, но я так устал от попыток изменить свою жизнь». Парадокс состоит в том, что мы в действительности мы намного больше устаем от нелюбимой работы, несчастливых отношений, вредных привычек, чем от попыток повлиять на ситуацию.

Задаю следующий вопрос:

— Если ничего не изменится, что будет с вами через 5, 10…20 лет?

Ответ на вопрос может вызвать сильные чувства: боль, тоску, ужас, обреченность. Они возникают, так как «перемен требуют наши сердца», но страхи и прошлый негативный опыт не дают двигаться дальше.

— А откуда вы узнаете, получится или нет, если вы не попробуете?

Вот тут обычно повисает длинная пауза….

Как быть? 

В первую очередь, осознать, что проблема существует. Признаться себе в этом. Мы можем управлять только тем, что знаем. Как только мы осознаем проблему, она автоматически становится задачей, которую предстоит решить.

Во-вторых, понять, что если ничего не менять, ситуация, скорее всего, будет ухудшаться: работа — становиться все ненавистнее, отношения — все запутаннее и т.д. То есть, без вас «не рассосется». В таком случае, поступить по-новому уже не кажется чем-то сильно опасным. 

Бывает, мои клиенты паникуют, думая что я призываю их к глобальным переменам. Но это совсем не так. Каждый шаг в направлении к переменам засчитывается. Страшно уволиться? Начните с малого: обновите резюме, подпишитесь на рассылку вакансий, сходите «потренироваться» на собеседование в рекрутинговое агентство. Пообщайтесь с интересными вам людьми, побудьте в пространстве, которое вам нравится.

Пробуйте, не бойтесь меняться и верьте в себя! 
Я, например, в вас верю 🙂







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