Как решиться взять ответственность на себя?

Как обычно вы поступаете в ситуациях, которые вас не устраивают? Рубите с плеча? Долго ходите вокруг да около? Рассказываете о своей истории всем, при этом ни шагу не делаете в сторону изменения? Или как?

Н. тяжело вздыхает и признается: «я — терпила». В конфликтах махать шашкой не ее конек. Проще уйти, забыть, убедить себя, что так лучше, или вовсе спрятаться, пусть проблему решает кто-нибудь другой.

Это может работать. Только долго ли?

Н. работает с партнером в совместном деле. Они тесно сотрудничают рука об руку, но энтузиазм Н. и желание продолжать уже давно угасли. Она пытается донести до партнера мысль, что пора расходиться. А он совсем не готов ее отпустить. Н. подступается к разговору раз за разом, и каждый раз терпит фиаско, отступая и соглашаясь с увещеваниями. «Может, и правда, не так уж и плохо» — говорит она и отводит взгляд…

Ответственность за решение — чересчур горячая картошка. Никто не хочет брать ее в свои руки. Один пытается разговорами подтолкнуть к решению другого, тогда как второй делать этого совершенно не намерен.

Как может развиваться ситуация дальше? Очень по-разному. Либо кто-то из них прекратит взаимное мучение, собрав вещи и уйдя, либо они начнут изводить друг друга перекладыванием ответственности с одной больной головы на еще более больную.

И это еще не самый плохой вариант.

Побоявшись разорвать отношения самостоятельно, один партнер может своими поступками попытаться вынудить бросить его. Намеренно плохо работать, опаздывать, громко критиковать, приходить на работу в неподобающем виде…

А тут уже ни о каких «разойдемся по-хорошему» речи быть вообще не может.

Быть жертвой обстоятельств и ничего с этим не делать – разве это ваш сознательный выбор?

Если нет, задайте себе вопрос — сколько еще я смогу выдержать эту ситуацию? Сколько еще это может длиться? Хотите ли вы обрекать себя на вечные муки, или все же найдутся силы сделать что-то по-другому в этот раз?

Ps. Конечно, я сейчас не о том, чтобы пойти жечь мосты.

Но сделать шаг навстречу себе и своим желаниям, услышать внутренний верный путь и задать себе временные рамки для решения задачи – уверена, вполне вам по силам.

______

Если вам понадобится плечо – я рядом. Проходить непростые, переходные, кризисные периоды лучше не одному, а со специалистом, который много лет целенаправленно учился тому, как помогать.







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