Про критику и право быть собой

Представьте, что вы занялись классным делом. Оно вам нравится, вы увлечены, забываете часы, минуты, дни, пока вы «в деле». 

pro-kritiku-i-pravo-but-soboy

Вы чувствуете, что делаете что-то невероятно прекрасное, полезное, нужное, и вам не терпится поскорее рассказать об этом близким и друзьям. Вы самозабвенно делитесь, взахлеб рассказываете, а в ответ внезапно слышите:

Серьезно? ЭТО твое новое увлечение? 

— Не дури, у тебя и так прекрасная работа

— Мдееее…этом денег точно не заработаешь 

— Зачем оно тебе надо? Пустая трата времени

ну, смысл вы поняли

Что чувствуете?

А представьте еще, вы долго трудились, выкладывались на полную катушку, экспериментировали, выражали себя, полны решимости показать продукт своего творчества миру, обнародуете и…

— Серьезно? На ЭТО ты убивал свое время?

— Не дури, займись чем-то полезным

— Мдееее…теорию бы хоть почитал, позорище

— Зачем такое вообще показывать? Пустая трата времени

смысл снова, думаю, понятен.

Как вы там сейчас?

Что происходит, когда вы слышите критику и скепсис в адрес себя или своего нового увлечения? 

Готовы ли вы размахивать шашкой и отстаивать то, что сейчас важно, или сжимаетесь до песчинки по сравнению с этим враждебным миром?

Как бы то ни было, возможно, то, что я скажу дальше, поможет вам в выборе своей реакции.

Люди, которые критикуют вас, вероятно, сами не решились стать тем, кем хочется

Люди, которые критикуют вас, вероятно, боятся выйти за собственные рамки

Люди, которые критикуют вас, на самом деле, говорят из собственной боли

Люди, которые критикуют вас… на самом деле говорят о себе, а не о вас

Непрошенные советы, пассивная агрессия или намеренный сарказм, комментарии из серии “тебе же лучше будет” и “я больше твоего знаю” — на самом деле, не конструктивная критика. Полезного в ней чуть. Если ваш собеседник апеллирует к эмоциям, высшему разуму, вашему чувству вины, но только не к логике и фактам, он не заинтересован в том, чтобы на самом деле принести вам пользу. Он заинтересован в том, чтобы вас задеть.

Конструктив — это не про “у тебя ничего не получится” и “хреновый из тебя художник”, а про “я поддерживаю тебя, ты молодец. если тебе будет это полезно, здесь и здесь можно сделать по-другому”.

Если конструктива нет — помните о том, что у вас всегда есть вы сами. Вам действительно есть, на кого опереться, кто будет рядом всегда и с кем вы можете обсуждать самые смелые желания и стремления. Полезно или не полезно то, что вы делаете — решать вам. Новый вид деятельности, или проверенное старое место — тоже ваш выбор. И ваша ответственность.

Ваше право — отстаивать свое право быть собой.

_____________________

Работа над самооценкой и самоощущением — непростая, но очень важная.

Если вам сложно справиться в одиночку, пишите, я буду рада разделить с вами этот путь.







    174 Comments

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