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А что, если я не хочу встречаться с собой настоящим?

«Страшно увидеть себя настоящего, а вдруг мне не понравится этот человек?»
«Я так привык менять маски, что даже уже и не знаю, какое мое настоящее лицо».
«Быть открытым и искренним — значит подставиться. Обязательно найдется тот, кто плюнет в душу».

Приходили в голову такие мысли? Буду очень рада, если вы скажете нет, но, к сожалению, подобные размышления я регулярно слышу от клиентов. Люди годами живут в страхе, что их разоблачат, выведут на чистую воду. Или, наоборот, отчаянно пытаются найти свое истинное я. 

Представляется, что где-то глубоко внутри нас сидит цельная, «настоящая» личность, а все что мы показываем «наружу» — фальшивые маски. Наверное, сейчас я многих огорчу, но это не совсем так.

  • Прежде всего, наша личность многослойна. Контакты с людьми, новый опыт, обучение — все это «наращивает» слои на личность, которые накладываются друг на друга. Так что Шрек был прав, все мы похожи на многослойные луковицы.
  • Попытки найти свою истинную сущность обречены на провал. Мы не можем узнать, кто мы на самом деле, потому что наше истинное «Я» находится в области бессознательного. Случалось ли вам расстроиться, увидев себя на видео или услышав запись своего голоса? Например, голос оказывался слишком высоким, речь невнятной, движения суетливыми. Вы представляли себя совсем по-другому. Получается, если физический образ мы можем увидеть со стороны с помощью современных технологий, то настоящее «Я» скрыто и любые наши представления о нем — ошибочны.
  • Тем не менее, наша истинная сущность проявляется, когда мы чувствуем себя «в потоке» и не зацикливаемся на самоконтроле. Выражение «действовать по велению сердца» очень хорошо описывает это состояние.

Нам кажется, что мы самостоятельные личности, имеем собственное мнение, жизненное кредо. На самом же деле, наше Я соткано из установок и мнений окружающих нас людей, и мы зачастую этого не осознаем.

Стелить скатерть на стол только потому, что так делала мама. Бояться змей, потому что их ужасно боится старшая сестра. Не начинать свое дело, потому что лучший друг считает, что в нашей стране малому бизнесу не выжить. Даже наше описание себя — это часто всего лишь интерпретация реакций окружающих людей. Подумайте, почему вы считаете себя жадным, или наоборот, щедрым человеком. Чьи реакции «рассказали» об этом?

Пока мы не узнаем себя настоящего, мы будем отделены от своих эмоций и чувств, будем жить на автомате или блуждать по жизни в поисках своего места. 

Ведь понять, где мое место, если мы не знаем себя, невозможно. Конечно, есть вариант прожить в незнании. Уверена, многие и не задумываются о подобных вещах, проживают жизнь как заведено, принято по стандартам. Но мне кажется, что лучше все-таки рискнуть. 

Как же увидеть себя настоящего?Среди последователей Фрейда считается, что истинное Я «выглядывает» из бессознательного, когда мы отпускаем контроль. Неожиданная забывчивость, красноречивые оговорки, сны, которые не «отпускают» по нескольку дней — так бессознательное прорывается в нашу жизнь.

Мне ближе другая версия. Уверена, у каждого из вас была ситуация, когда логика и здравый смысл подсказывают, как нужно поступить, но что-то внутри вас сопротивляется. Классический пример — поступление в ВУЗ. Когда друзья разошлись по престижным институтам, родители спят и видят вас специалистом нужного им профиля, а «правильный» ВУЗ заманчиво распахнул двери, очень страшно прислушаться к своему внутреннему голосу, шепчущему «это не твое». 

Этот голос — ваша сущность, взывающая к вам из бессознательного. Голос будет очень тихим, если мы привыкли отталкиваться от навязанных вам точек зрения, следовать чужим указаниям. Чтобы сделать его громче, почаще задавайте себе вопрос «Это то, что я действительно хочу для себя?» и прислушайтесь к себе. Реакция тела, сильные чувства, внезапные образы — так истинное Я проявляет себя.

Познать его полностью вряд ли получиться, но научиться слышать, доверять своему внутреннему голосу вполне вам по силам.

Я рядом, если вы захотите пройти этот путь.








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