Свобода жить свою жизнь

8 марта — классный праздник не только потому что на улицах полно нарядных улыбающихся женщин с букетами цветов, а в воздухе уже начинает пахнуть весной. 8 марта — это еще и про возможности выбирать, чем ты хочешь заниматься, кем быть в этой жизни. Долгое время наши роли (и мужские, и женские) были жестко закреплены, и большого выбора не было. Не человек выбирал жизнь, а жизнь выбирала его, путь во многом был предопределен с рождения. Дворянские мальчики уже рождались с чинами, девочки знали, что рисовать и играть на инструментах — их главные навыки. Сложно было стать кем-то, кем ты не родился. 

В ХХ веке многое изменилось: у женщин появилось море возможностей, мужские роли тоже стали гибче. Казалось бы, наконец-то мы можем жить настоящей жизнью, той, которую выбрали себе сами. И тем не менее множество людей живет не для себя, а для других людей, словно своя жизнь — это что-то ненужное и неинтересное. Смотрите: 

  • Быть врачом — не мое, но в моей семье все врачи, если уйду в другую профессию — стану изгоем. 
  • После целого дня на каблуках ноги болят ужасно, но я должна быть красивой и нравиться всем. 
  • У меня семья, крутая работа и квартира в Москве. А я мечтаю бросить все, выучиться на диджея и уехать крутить сеты в Нью-Йорк. Никому не рассказываю — не поймут. 
  • Расстался с любимой девушкой, так как она другой религии. Для меня это не проблема, а вот родители объявили бойкот. 

Несмотря на все возможности и многообразие мира, мы частенько выбираем чужие интересы, чужое мнение, игнорируя себя и свои интересы. Живем не своей жизнью. Может ли такая жизнь быть счастливой? Вряд ли. Женщина, бросившая все силы на спасение мужа-алкоголика, чувствует себя нужной и важной, ведь «без меня он пропадет». Мужчина ходит на ненавистную работу, но зато у него есть иллюзия стабильности, да и семья довольна. До счастья тут далеко. 

Мы теряем свою жизнь тогда, когда не слышим себя. Наши потребности кажутся настолько незначительными, не стоящими внимания, что совершенно нет нужды думать о них. Другая причина — отсутствие объективного взгляда на себя. Когда самооценка основывается на том, что сказали окружающие, на их отношении, человек готов на все, чтобы получить принятие других, в том числе и «потерять» свою жизнь. 

Вернуть свою жизнь обратно не просто. Человеку, привыкшему опираться на мнение других, подстраиваться под чужие нужды, будет сложно в один момент начать поступать по-своему, исходя из своих интересов. А еще многим страшно прослыть эгоистом, думающим только о себе. 

Но смотрите, выбирать себя совсем не означает «мне плевать на окружающих». Каждый день мы взаимодействуем с людьми, каждый день нам приходится договариваться и идти на компромиссы. Прислушивайтесь к себе и задавайте вопрос «ради чего я это делаю?». Двигает ли мной страх, желание понравиться другим, желание быть важным и нужным? 

Когда вы поступаете в соответствии со своими внутренними ценностями, а не внешними установками, вы обретаете свободу, а самое главное — возвращаете себе свою жизнь. 







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